Moose on the Loose

We have just received a text message and want to congratulate Clarke (aka Supercod) & Leona Duncan on the birth of their son Fraser Robert Duncan born at 1:40am & weighing in at 8lb 14oz. Both mum & baby are doing fine.

Wishing you all every happiness in the world with your new bundle of joy & a little brother for Adam.

Another fine mini-cod to add to the shoal & a fine name too.

A Moose’s Life is about to go through an interesting transitional phase. My son has just taken up drumming lessons at his new secondary school … great I thought … he is already joining extra after school activity clubs .. but then literally a few minutes ago my son “strolls” in with a full drum kit to put in his bedroom.

Okay … yes … I admit I will be itching to get my hands on it and have a bash, but I am sure you can imagine how it’s going to be around here for a while.

What a picture, what a photograph, poor old bloke couldn’t see the joke (excuse the punn)

With a couple of friends expecting babies very soon like Fraser & Clarke & others with young ones like Graham & Clarke, they have this all to look forward too 😉

Lyrics to Flash Bang Wallop!

From the London Musical “Half A Sixpence” (1963)
(Smile please, all smile. You too, Sir)
(I am smiling)

All lined up in a wedding group
‘Ere we are for a photograph
We’re all dressed up in a morning suit
All trying hard not to laugh
Since the early caveman in his fur
Took a trip to Gretna Green
There’s always been a photographer
To record the ‘appy scene…..

‘Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin’ on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam’ly album

(Thanks very much, one more picture. Hold it!)

The same thing ‘appened long ago
When man was in his prime
And what went on we only know
From the snaps he took at the time
When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit
Decided to get wed
As Adam was about to taste the fruit
The man with the cam’ra said…..

‘Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old Eve, there with nothing on
Face all red and ‘er fig leaf gone
Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin’ on the big bass drum, W-e-e-a-ay!
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam’ly album

(Thanks very much. One more picture, hold it!)

You’ve read it in a folio
Or seen it in a Shakespeare play
How Juliet fell for Romeo
In the merry month of May
And as ‘e climbed the orchard wall
To reach ‘is lady fair
As he tumbled, she began to bawl
As he floated through the air…..

‘Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor young chap, what a night ‘e spent
Tights all torn and ‘is rapier bent
Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin’ on the big bass drum, W-e-e-a-ay!
What a picture, what apicture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam’ly album

(One more picture, hold it!)

King ‘Enry the Eighth had several wives
Including Anne Boleyn
And he kept an album of their lives
With all their photos in
As Anne Boleyn was on her knees
Dressed in her very best frock
King ‘Enry shouted, “Smile, Dear, please”
As ‘er ‘ead rolled off the block…..

‘Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Comes the print in a little while
Lost ‘er ‘ead, but she kept ‘er smile
Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet, Ye-e-a-y!
Bangin’ on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam’ly album

(Thank you very much. One more picture, hold it!)

When Napoleon married Josephine
There was just the same to-do
He galloped home from the battle scene
All the way from Waterloo
And as he came from orf ‘is ‘orse
To the boudoir where she sat
She said to ‘im, in French of course
As he took of his big cocked ‘at

‘Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
There she was, with a big Hussar
All caught up in ‘er oh-la-la
Clap ‘ands, stamp yer feet, Ye-e-a-y!
Bangin’ on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam’ly album

Stick it in your fam’ly
Stick it in your fam’ly
In your fam’ly album!

As some of you may know there was an experimental Affiliate Fat Camp in Portugal back in early June, where a few sacrificial lambs were sent to the slaughter, most of us lost a little weight, except for Matt Wood who suffered a little from lazyitis and was maybe a little surprised that Fat Camp was actually for real with the extra notch he had to release on his belt.

For those that initially attended we are intending to set up a joint blog & website dedicated to trimming the fat of portly affiliates to ensure we maintain some of the discipline we endured.

However upon discussion with Matt Wood, it has been initially agreed that Affiliate Fat Camp Goes Large in 2008 in association with the affiliates4u forum.

It will probably be held in Portugal for a period of 7 to 9 days and will be focused on lots of fun forms of exercise & activities, some not so fun, healthy nutrition & little boozing, though there will be plenty of social nights out if you have any energy remaining.

What we would initially like to do is ascertain interest & ideas for activities. If interest & participation is good then we could look at sponsors (a secondary consideration at this moment in time) and maybe having something big brother style or at least have some edited or live streaming footage.

Attendees at fat camp back in June were Clarke Duncan (Supercod), Mark Russell (Flipper), Shane Robinson (Michael Chiklis), Matthew Wood (“Lip Up Fatty Matty” – Readaption of Lyrics by Bad Manners)  Paul Wheatley (Moose) & Zak Edwards (Skeletor).

There are a few pics on Clarke Duncan’s Facebook, though I think there are no endurance sea kayaking ones on there.

Once again let me begin with another quoted Parable: In this example assume the farmer is the merchant/agency & the donkey is the affiliate.

“One day a farmer’s donkey (the affiliate) fell down into a well. The animal lay quietly for hours until the farmer (the merchant) eventually noticed him, as the farmer (the merchant) couldn’t be bothered to figure out what to do. He finally decided the animal (the affiliate) was old & useless, and that the well needed to be covered anyway and that it just wasn’t worth retrieving the donkey (the affiliate). So he invited all his neighbours (other merchants & maybe the network) to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey (the affiliate) realised what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quietened down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer (the merchant) finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey (the affiliate) was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbours (other merchants & maybe the network) continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal (the affiliate), he (the affiliate) would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey (the affiliate) stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.”

There are various interpretations which could be derived from this little parable, feel welcome to offer yours.

But a couple which come to mind immediately are when ass- minded merchants / agencies & occasionally networks cull non-performing affiliates. Perhaps the affiliate hasn’t got round to that merchant yet or may have existing or other prioritised work in progress, especially when there are a couple of thousand other programs out there.

Rather than making efforts to communicate effectively with non-performing affiliates, culling their base (an easy & futile option) somehow makes their stats look better for example those affiliates which actually drive sales but may have a lower epc. It doesn’t cost the merchant anything and eventually that page or link might get indexed.

I don’t think culling happens too often in affiliate marketing and there are bigger issues, however it’s one of those minor irritants which needlessly occurs.

The most importantly thing I inferred from this Parable is never under-estimate the resolve of an affiliate.

I have been particularly engrossed by this particular thread on the forum, where actual affiliate links are being indexed in search engines. The discussion has been quite interesting, in the sense that white hat has been mistakenly considered black hat in what appears to be a Google bug or possibly questionable / poor seo techniques by the merchant concerned & not the affiliate.

One thing I will endorse is the openness of the network Webgains to bring this matter to the attention of the forum for an open debate which is a plus credit to them when maybe some other networks would shy away.

There does seem to be divided opinion amongst affiliates & we have to be careful this doesn’t set a precedent for future restricted T&C’s for affiliates in relation to SEO and/or Natural/Organic listings.

The lock is already undone on Pandora’s box, lets not open it … please.

Full Story is Here … Help me with a serious Google problem!

Mates are those you can confide in, enjoy great times with, share in life’s trials & tribulations with & appreciate the lifestyle associated with affiliate marketing … like my good buddy Eric.

When we attended Affiliate Summit East 2007 in Miami, there was one golden rule we swore an oath to .. which was “what happens in Miami, stays in Miami”… Comprende Eric. 😉

I guess now that the cat is out of the bag … take one … action!

Please note this is Eric’s handy work & I would like to personally thank him for getting me over my holiday blues.

After feedback given to Matt Wood, I am really pleased to see an update to the categories for the Affiliate Marketing A4UAwards … with the addition of:

Best Agency or Network Publisher Manager – Which agency account manager or network account manager (publisher side) goes the extra mile? – Again vote for your favourite.

There are a number of Affiliate Managers who are doing a sterling job and I think this may well prove to be one of the most competitive & interesting categories in recognition of the hard work & sterling job a number of them do. In some instances acting as a buffer by being pummeled from all sides, but more importantly how genuinely proactive and helpful some of them are.

I am a little spoilt for choice here, but I will be initially looking at someone who engages & contributes to the forum and whom’s personal injection of comments is not doctored or gagged behind corporate plc policy in what can & cannot be said, but also quietly & efficiently goes about their job, resolving issues amicably & forging relationships between parties .. as well as being a grafter.

Time to adorn that sandwich board which has been collecting dust in the closet and get those placards raised 😉

In addition to this there is also some voting guidance to other categories.

This blog topic stemmed from a conversation I had with a merchant the other day. This is maybe best illustrated by giving a hypothetical example.

Merchant A, Merchant B & Merchant C sell the same product at the same price & their conversions are equal & their shipping costs are £3 per order. On the program information page on the network it says each offers 10% commission. However on chatting with each merchant you find that merchant A offers 10% on the NET value of sale (less VAT), Merchant B offers 10% on the GROSS value of the sale (inclusive of VAT) and Merchant C offers 10% on the GROSS value of the sale plus the same % commission on shipping costs.

Lets assume 100 orders of £100+vat are sent to each merchant and see the difference in commissions an affiliate would receive.

Merchant A

Commission = Total Net Value of Sales x 10% = £10000 x 10% = £1000

Merchant B

Commission = Total Gross Value of Sales x 10% = £11750 x 10% = £1175 (A £175 improvement in commission on Merchant A)

Merchant C

Commission = (Total Gross Value of Sales + Shipping Costs )x 10% = £12050x 10% = £1205 (A £205 improvement in commission on Merchant A & £30 improvement of Merchant B)

It’s an old adage & prerequisite which is still required on all information pages pertaining to commission. Affiliates need to know the actual commission they are being paid .. a % of what exactly … by doing exactly what it says it does on the tin.

A merchant who offers a % commission of the Gross sale value can use this as a selling point to affiliates, which they should shout from the roof tops, when rates are compared with other programs. No network can turn around exclaiming that the assumption should be made it’s the net sale value, because this is not the case. We simply need clarity which has been requested before, several years ago. Oh the familiarity one exclaims.

You can scale the figures up or down to suit your volume levels.

Pet Gripes This Week:

a) Merchants changing their display url without notification.

b) Merchants altering their deep linking structure, again, without notification.

c) Merchants chaning their trading name, yet again, without notification.

One category I feel I am really limited for choice on from the list below is, btw for those that have been on a different planet for the past few days, the Affiliate Marketing a4uAwards can be found here

Innovation in Affiliate Marketing (Network Award)

I think we are really limited for choices in this section and maybe only limited to a couple of good options which is really disappointing on the whole considering. Paid On Results for their platform, content units & various useful tools and then there is Affiliate Window for their Shop Window. Though both are very good it is disappointing there doesn’t seem much to choose from as alternatives. With a few acquistions by various networks from bid management tools to telephone tracking systems, it makes you wonder whether these actually will be made available for affiliates? Now, some might suggest Ebay API as a possibility, but whilst Ebay seem to unethically & continually breach trademarks in paid search advertising, I don’t think they are worthy See Here

One award I would like to see added is

Publisher’s Choice Award for an Account Manager at a Network – we should appreciate there are a few account managers who do work tirelessly, they are very good at their job, participate on the forum & are very pleasant people. Whether you agree with their opinions all the time or not, I do feel their role in the industry should be recognised. These could include several from Webgains like Hero, Ryan, Kier to Peter or Chris at Affiliate Future to Adam or Kevin at Affiliate Window to a few others.

Firmly laying my cards on the table, here is my own shortlist of candidates, though the beauty of these things is that they are all open to opinion & conjecture

• Innovation in Affiliate Marketing (Merchant Award) – A real shortlist for this one, though I might not be thinking out the box on this one but my personal three candidates are Buyagift, Prezzybox & Euroffice.

• Innovation in Affiliate Marketing (Network Award) – The aforementioned Paid On Results & Affiliate Window

• Innovation in Affiliate Marketing (Publisher Award) – Certainly not us for sure, though I rarely visit other affiliates websites to ascertain what they are working on, unless invited to offer an opinion. Though perhaps this could be maybe renamed to Best Publisher Website (for which by my own admission we wouldn’t qualify for either by a long shot). Though from the few affiliate sites I have seen, some are excellent & well marketed, to a few which if I had the inclination I would offer to buy out as they are extremely good, yet go unrecognised or are not marketed to their full potential.

• Publisher’s Choice Award for a Network – Down to your personal preference & relationship with respective networks, so for myself the four contenders are currenly Paid On Results, Affiliate Future, Affiliate Window & Webgains. I do hope affiliates simply don’t just go for the ones with the big brands or ones they currently do most business with.
  

• Publisher’s Choice Award for a Merchant – A few considerations here as there are some really nice merchants, but my personal unwaivering option will boil down to a head to head battle between Buyagift & Prezzybox.

• Publisher’s Choice Award for an Agency – Tough call. There a few nice agencies, though I don’t necessarily consistantly agree with them, however, they participate & remain proactive on the forum. Some options could be from R.O Eye, Equator, Summit Media to Mitch at BigMouthMedia. However my runner-up would be Jess at Affiliate Program Advice. My winner would be Existem.

• Affiliate Manager of 2007 – A duel between Graham Keen of Buyagift & Zak Edwards at Prezzybox. They both continuoiusly liase with the affiliate community, catering for & asking what we would like & more importantly they actually deliver, plus the fact they are both terrific people.
  

• Merchants Publisher of 2007 – Look at the guys which are selfless (not selfish) & contribute postively & proactively to affiliate marketing & the community. Notibly, those who also have blogs. A list of whom can be viewed in the right hand column on this page.

• Best New Merchant of 2007 – I was a little confused on this selection on who the “NEW” merchants are. So nobody really stood out. Thus on existing ones, guess what .. Buyagift & Prezzybox stood out again. So on the basis of an award title, it’s a weak category. However, just being launched on Paid on Results is the program Children’s Rooms being run by Dave & Elaine.
  

• Best New Publisher of 2007 – From the recent Affiliate Get Togethers, we have noticed an influx of the next generation of Performance Marketeers with some very bright minds amongst them.
  

• Affiliate Marketing Blog of 2007 – What a terrific choice to choose from. I thoroughly enjoy reading & being totally absorbed with Affiliate Blogs like those listed in the right hand column, with various perspectives, insights & topics of discussion. The best part is that generally we are singing off the same hymn sheet in relation to the industry. But my favourite is Fraser Edward’s Affiliate Marketing Blog & his Podcasts.

• Best Agency Account Manager – My winner would be the big gentle giant Mark Russell at Existem closely followed by Jess at Affiliate Program Advice

• Best International Publisher – Not sure who to classify in this one & whether it includes UK Affiliates. So there are a few in my social circle of friends who I would like to vote for.

• Industry Champion Award – Fraser Edwards !!!
  

To reiterate again, for your vote go to the Affiliate Marketing a4uAwards Ceremony 2007 … “Rewarding Excellence & Innovation in Affiliate Marketing.”

Let me start with a folk tale:

“The story is told that there once was a blind beggar (the merchant) who sat beside a road, fingering the rice in his little bowl. He wore only a loin loth and sat in poverty beside the road that stretched nowhere in both directions.

The scarce travellers occasionally gave him a little rice. One day he heard the thunder of a chariot in the distance. It was the grand entourage of the king (the affiliate). This was a moment that had never come before and probably would ever come again. Surely the great king (the affiliate) would stop and give him baskets of rice.

Indeed, the golden chariot of the king (the affiliate) stopped before the poor beggar (the merchant). The great one stepped down, and the beggar (the merchant) fell before him. Then the sky seemed to fall in.

Give me your rice, please” politely asked the king (the affiliate).

A fearful and hateful scowl masked the face of the beggar (the merchant). He reached into his bowl and thrust one grain of rice toward the king (the affiliate).

“Is that all?” said the king (the affiliate).

The beggar (the merchant) spat on the ground, cursed and threw the king (the affiliate) one more grain of rice, then got up & walked away in a huff. The great king (the affiliate) then turned, entered his chariot and was gone.

The beggar (the merchant), angry, empty & crushed, fingered the remaining rice he had hoarded in this bowl. He felt something hard, different from the rice. He pulled it out … It as one kernel of gold. He then poured out the rest of his rice, caring nothing for it now … He found one other grain of gold.

Had he trusted the king (the affiliate), he could have had a grain of gold for every grain of rice!!!”

Now this was a story I sent to a merchant (the beggar) sometime back, that merchant (the beggar) was Linkword Languages who was looking for more business from affiliates (the kings), so I politely asked him whether I could have a sample of the product to learn Portugese & properly test the product. His direct response was that we will have to purchase our own via the commissions in the sales we pushed to him! So I sent the story & heard nothing more.

So for some merchants (the beggars), think about this Parable. Free product samples can go a long way.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are quite a few generous merchants (this time the kings) out there from Buyagift to Prezzybox to occassional freebies we unexpectedly receive to sponsors of Affiliates4U events … and more recently a massive thanks to the sponsors of the Affiliates4U Fantasy Football Competition which Mark at Existem has organised like Historic Papers, Best of the Best & Subside Sports.

Definition: Parable … is a brief tale intended to be understood as an allegory illustrating some lesson or moral.

Definition: Allegory … the representation of abstract ideas or principles by characters, figures, or events in narrative, dramatic, or pictorial form.