Moose on the Loose

Following on from Matts Blog Post … TradeDoubler Appoints IAB Affiliate Council Head Ben Wood as UK MD and the forum discussion IAB AMC Chair Ben Wood Joins Tradedoubler.

Some fellow respected peers who have attended the AMC meetings have commented about Ben’s positive attributes & his appointment at Tradedoubler as being quite an inspired choice. However though, he is guaranteed to be on a rapid & steep exponential learning curve to acquire knowledge of the affiliate marketing industry, it will be a question of who influences who. We have all too often seen personnel in the industry who have the willingness to listen, learn and adapt, but yet are misguided or incorrectly trained & thus not attuned to the mindset of the affiliates.

By being my blunt self, about Tradedoubler, we have not yet seen any leopards changing their spots and I would be quite offended if we see any repeated charm offensive develop again. The sound of tumbleweed in addressing affiliate concerns on the forum & the service I have historically received myself in general is poor enough, let’s hope Ben Wood doesn’t get assimilated by the Borg & exercises his own positive attributes & transferable skills to turn things around at Tradedoubler.

Ben, I don’t personally know you, but good luck, you’ll going to need it.

P.S. “he’s a very nice man, a very very nice man, a very nice man indeed.”

Realistically, how long should programs be permitted to remain suspended? Whether it be due to tracking problems, budgetary restraints, invoice payments (not paying).

Perhaps there should be a best practise to the maximum period allowed before closing the program rather than wasting affiliates traffic.

Yes, this thread was spurred by the recent announcement of the Harrods program closure on Tradedoubler, it’s a program which doesn’t really concern me, though taking over 7 months to sort out is a liability for those affiliates that do.

However, I have noticed historically on a couple of other networks that some programs remain perpetually suspended when they should be perhaps closed, rather than leaving affiliates in the lurch for extended periods of time and the indecision of whether to keep the links up, in vague hope or anticipation that the program will go live or be reactivated.

To those networks it concerns please stop wasting affiliates most precious commodities … their time & traffic. So networks, please (with a cherry on top) make a decision one way or the other on your current suspended programs.

“Apologies for the inconvenience” in emails don’t really wash anymore, because they more often than not lack sincerity and are employed to simply try & suppress backlash from affiliates.

Come on networks, share the lurve, by giving affiliates backlinks for those who would like them, you’ll be helping them help you! Set up some directory structure on your site.

And merchants can share the lurve with a virtual cyberspace cuddle by rewarding their successful affiliates with a courtesy backlink too.

Refer to this parable and swap out the reference to a freebie gift with a backlink
Lets get all warm & fuzzy inside.

Let me bring up a parable from an earlier blog.

“The story is told that there once was a blind beggar (the merchant or network) who sat beside a road, fingering the rice in his little bowl. He wore only a loin loth and sat in poverty beside the road that stretched nowhere in both directions.

The scarce travellers occasionally gave him a little rice. One day he heard the thunder of a chariot in the distance. It was the grand entourage of the king (the affiliate). This was a moment that had never come before and probably would ever come again. Surely the great king (the affiliate) would stop and give him baskets of rice.

Indeed, the golden chariot of the king (the affiliate) stopped before the poor beggar (the merchant or network). The great one stepped down, and the beggar (the merchant or network) fell before him. Then the sky seemed to fall in.

Give me your rice, please” politely asked the king (the affiliate).

A fearful and hateful scowl masked the face of the beggar (the merchant or network). He reached into his bowl and thrust one grain of rice toward the king (the affiliate).

“Is that all?” said the king (the affiliate).

The beggar (the merchant or network) spat on the ground, cursed and threw the king (the affiliate) one more grain of rice, then got up & walked away in a huff. The great king (the affiliate) then turned, entered his chariot and was gone.

The beggar (the merchant or network), angry, empty & crushed, fingered the remaining rice he had hoarded in this bowl. He felt something hard, different from the rice. He pulled it out … It as one kernel of gold. He then poured out the rest of his rice, caring nothing for it now … He found one other grain of gold.

Had he trusted the king (the affiliate), he could have had a grain of gold for every grain of rice!!!”

So for some merchants & networks (the beggars), think about this Parable. A backlink can go a long way.

Definition of Backlinks

“Backlinks (or back-links (UK)) are incoming links to a website or web page. In the search engine optimization (SEO) world, the number of backlinks is one indication of the popularity or importance of that website or page (though other measures, such as PageRank, are likely to be more important). Outside of SEO, the backlinks of a webpage may be of significant personal, cultural or semantic interest: they indicate who is paying attention to that page.

In basic link terminology, a backlink is any link received by a web node (web page, directory, website, or top level domain) from another web node. Backlinks are also known as incoming links, inbound links, inlinks, and inward links.” – Wikipedia

Related Blog to Read : Big Up The Content Affiliate Massive Aiii!

Today I am going to illustrate how Google hasn’t yet monetised their organic listings to their full potential, a Gold Mine, it’s something we have been utilising for a few years on our own small dummy search engines with moderate success & if scaled up will be relatively successful for any affiliate … for Google this would be immense.

When you conduct a search on Google you are presented with natural / organic listings & sponsored listings.

Say a potential customer was looking for a merchant, lets use Marks & Spencer as a hypothetical example, assuming the user doesn’t click on any sponsored listings, if they click on an organic listing this is deemed “free” traffic for the merchant. You see the display url as www.marksandspencer.com (we shall call this the anchor text for familiarity) and if you view the link properties (target url) as www.marksandspencer.com too.

Remember: Google is the property of Google, and not the jurisdiction of merchants, affiliates or anybody else apart from Google themselves. Such that no publisher has any divine right to appear organically & that this “free” traffic is taken for granted.

Remember: I’ve long advocated the need for affiliates to develop their own search engines and keep web search on their site rather than the user returning to the search engine i.e. retain users on their own site.

Sometime ago (a few years) we developed small insignificant “search engines” utilising available backfills & implemented an idea called … “URL REPLACEMENT”

This initially involves creating a simple three column spreadsheet database containing merchant names, their website url & the affiliate link if they have a program on a network.

Before the organic results are displayed, all you simply do is match the display url with the database, if the display url matches, then the link properties (target url) are changed to the affiliate link. So in the case of Marks & Spencer, the display url / anchor text will remain www.marksandspencer.com, but the link properties (target url) will be replaced with the affiliate link.

Just for Marks & Spencer alone, Google could be making a six figure sum a month, now multiply this by the number of merchants with affiliate programs & the result is an absolute Gold Mine in additional income to possibly compete with their existing revenue via Google Adwords. Obviously Yahoo and Microsoft can do the same thing, why not it’s their search engine & property. The downside is that this could decimate affiliate marketing with regard to visitors returning via cookies who may return to the merchant via organic listings.

It might be interesting times ahead, when organic listings for retailers & services no longer becomes a “free” ride, currently these are being taken for granted, it’s misguided to have the perception that anyone has some divine right to acquire “free” traffic via organic search on their brand. I guess in essense a bit like the old “pay for inclusion”, if you remember those days.

If Google ran their own affiliate network or applied to a program on a network (that thought itself is quite peculiar), do you think a merchant would refuse them being a member of their program?

Obviously the same theory can be applied to customers searching for any generic phrases or product related terms whereby ALL matching display url’s within the organic results are substituted using the “URL REPLACEMENT” theory.

This is partly why in a previous blog I mentioned search engines like Google as the achilles heal of affiliate marketing unless the industry creates something itself, not to compete head to head, but outflank, maybe via niches & vertical sectors.

In the meantime affiliates & publishers can easily implement themselves within their own web sites utilising free & paid backfill results on a smaller scale to gain a moderate amount of increased revenue, scale it up and reap the rewards of your labour. The concept is simple but effective, you can even tweak the results by bringing merchants with an affiliate program to the fore in the organic results & even order them according to their EPC.

This is something we plan to do a lot further on a sizeable scale & maybe looking for trusted affiliates work alongside with & emabark on this bold venture.

At the moment it’s just a pie in the sky thought, but I had the notion that the concept of a merger between DealGroup Media (DGM) and Paid On Results (POR) might be quite successful.

In a nutshell, with POR’s technology & DGM’s sales staff for recruiting merchants & affiliate support, it might just actually work.

Paid On Results overall has the following plus points:

• Trust – POR is highly respected in the affiliate marketplace amongst affiliates. POR really do “get it” & are trusted by affiliates to do the right thing.
• Technology – Excellent interface and technical ability.
• Innovation – Great understanding of the market and willing to lead the way in different areas (voucher stuff is a recent example). Plus they are continually developing neat little tools.
• Reliable Interface – An impressive user interface affiliates & merchants to use.
• Support – Able to deal with issues and get them resolved to the benefit of everyone and not simply role over to merchants / affiliates.
• Reliability – Tracking & reporting considered amongst the best in the industry.
• Flexibility & robustness to expand.
• Promote content affiliates by providing support and tools while still carting for PPC and Cashback sites by providing the tools they need also
• Don’t like brand bidding groups (BBGs)

We have the unsung hero at POR who is Graeme, the tech whizzkid, an absolute genius & a guy who as even helps with support at unearthly hours of the night without expectation to resolve any minor issues, who with the right team underneath him & under his guidance could perform further & bigger wonders.

The main problem is Paid On Results don’t blow their own trumpet, too humble / modest maybe, thus not assertive in bringing the so called larger merchants onboard to look impressive on their portfolio & consequently sometimes getting overlooked by merchants / agencies when they shouldn’t be. What you see is what you get with POR, no hollow promises & false assurances or aggressive sales techniques when pitching to clients, but honesty & integrity who have the trust & respect of the industry as a whole.

They currently don’t seem to have enough sales staff or an abundance of resources that they could direct in affiliate development and maybe it would be beneficial to have some more technical staff that Graeme could direct on what to do. Yet POR still manage to provide better interface & tools than most other networks who have an abundance of staff.

It’s that last sentence where DGM could potentially fill the void. With the pros & cons of each network these could mesh quite neatly/snuggly. Firstly DGM would need to oust the BBGs they currently have within their network, it’s a disease & a tag they need to lift & get rid off quickly & in a lengthy previous conversation with one of their directors earlier this year, this hasn’t seemed to have materialised yet. I don’t think going it alone as they are will quite work.

Let’s be frank, DGM will never really have the technology to compete with their fairly inflexible interface, a subject of ridicule in the past, which is maybe the only tangible thing that separates them as being a network from a management agency to bring clients onboard i.e. the “clincher”. I would also need to ascertain if senior management / directors whoever they are have the “mind set of” affiliates to bring them forward in the correct capacity.

For they have had more lives than a cat & at this moment in time are possibly one down in the bottom of the ninth innings with two outs & need a big play (baseball if you were unsure) .. “babe ruth” style as they take to the plate & point to the stand signifying the next ball is a home run.

Before, someone from DGM picks up the blower to moan at me, hear me out. I think there is the sincerity at DGM to do the right thing, I don’t know if there is anything inhibiting that at the moment, but they have an opportunity for a big play. Some of the bad elements (not all “were” bad eggs) within the company have gone onto pastures new (some of the respected ones gone onto where the grass is greener). There are some very pleasant & proactive staff on the affiliate side trying to offer good support & be proactive in the community. They have a sizeable sales team to prospect for clients too, but don’t have the technology to back them up. Their reasonable client base would compliment POR’s quite well & with Clarke “Legend” Duncan & Graeme from POR together with some of DGM’s team under their guidance they could develop quality API tools to compete with the impressive ShopWindow at Affiliate Window. To do this you need the volume of merchants.

From chatting with a few affiliate peers, I also get the impression that they actually want to see DGM do better, a kind of big uncle / aunty fostering mentality, wishing them to eventually succeed.

Where POR maybe lacks is an assertive sales team, fancy sales presentations & resources. DGM would compliment it. Both networks need something to boost them further into the spotlight of prospective clients & forefront of affiliates minds, it will just mean DGM relinquishing their visibly poor platform & interface, but they mustn’t hang onto their apron strings forever.

It could be a synergy that might just work? What do you think?

Okay, I’ve sowed the seeds, it’s up to the others to explore the possible opportunities whether they agree or disagree in public, but wish both well and it’s food for thought.

It’s sometimes disappointing to see there is lack of decorum being displayed on the forum by fellow affiliates & peers who don’t congratulate those affiliates who win incentives which are generously provided by merchants & networks.

Is it because they didn’t win? Spoilsports? Or simply too lazy though there maybe good intent? or Lack of manners? I still wish incentives were highlighted more, some do pass by without actually realising they were there in the first place.

Most (not all) merchants deserve recognition for running these and any additional public recognition & incremental sales that are generated should hopefully be the fruits of the reward by their generousity, so that we may potentially see more generous incentives being run (without expecting or taking for granted).

So next time an affiliate wins an incentive, take a brief moment of your time & post a couple of words of congratulations on the forum to the winner & maybe even a thank you to the merchant (even if you didn’t win), sometimes being nice gives you a warm & fuzzy feeling inside. You never know, we might see more incentives because of it.

So in one fair swoop for those I have in the past inadvertently omitted, congratulations & thank you to those merchants too, though if you can please use a megaphone so more affiliates can take advantage of your generosity.

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today, well you cannot anymore anyhow.

The pre-agenda early bird rate for a4uexpo 2008 ends on today ! yep that is today! … Where you can save a mammoth £100 on all delegate rates by registering before the end of today, infact simply do it now!

If you want to know a little more about a4uexpo 2008, Click Here which will convince you that this will be the hottest, must attend Affiliate Marketing event of the year!

To Register Click Here

The A4UExpo is quite simply the one event every affiliate should write in their diary at attend, it truly represents the many great aspects in affiliate marketing to educate yourself & implement, synergize & network with like minded professionals to forge flourishing business relationships, listen & participate with high quality speakers in the seminars, engage & debate in round table discussions, socialise with your peers .. the list goes on … To Register Click Here

If you’re shrewd enough you can even earn a generous 10% commission as they have an affiliate program on Paid On Results.

“This year there are two different types of passes available to purchase for a4uexpo;

The Conference Pass includes full access to all of the Workshops, Conferences, Networking Sessions and Exhibition Hall, complete with Luncheon & Refreshments. This pass includes a place on the Thames River Cruise during the second evening, plus networking opportunities at the pre-event Networking Party as well as the After Event Party on the last night.

The Networking Pass includes unlimited access to the Exhibition Hall & all networking areas, access to the pre-event networking party plus Luncheon & Refreshments on both days. The Networking pass does not provide access to the Thames River Cruise or the After Event Party.

Affiliates can earn 10% commission on all sales, with the cookie period custom set to reward all sales up until a week prior to the conference.”

They even pay you commission on the VAT element. Keep an eye on their blog, and press centre to acquire ideas on how to promote the event to their audience.

Click Here to Join the Affiliate Program

Yes we have used affiliate links on this blog entry, but if you sign up to the network Paid On Results, you can get your own.

Are affiliates generally too accepting of reductions in cookie periods without objection because its not headline news?

Somehow I think this is the case.

We hear excuses alikened too … “The reduction in the cookie window is in a bid to bring affiliates in line with all other media. Before making the final decision whether or not to implement this change, customer journeys were examined and it was found only a small % of sales were completed outside the new cookie period. “

Poppycock I am afraid.

That extra small % is better in an affiliates pocket than that of the merchant own. To put a different slant on it, are they going to increase the commission by the same % as a proportion of the current rates? … Thought not!!!

It seems that little offence is taken when the cookie period reduces, which though not of the same scale, is still effectively reducing the commission that can be potentially earned .. akin to dropping the commission rates.

Some merchants are too gun-ho in reducing cookie periods, to increase their own bottom line by a few %. Look after the pennies & the pounds will look after themselves. Therefore in theory there should be an increase in commission by the same minimal amount, it’s just something networks / merchants implement without a secondary thought for the affiliates.

Then we hear excuses from a network like “the rest of their online media strategy runs with this and despite putting across our arguments it is very difficult to get a client to change their whole strategy to fit around our affiliate’s expectations. Either it levelled up to the affiliate cookie period or it levelled down to the search, display and partner cookie period and affiliates are not the biggest stakeholder in that strategy”

Which doesn’t answer the question of whether they will inversely reciprocate this reduction in cookie period with an equal increase in commission.

Before we know, we have a domino effect, with merchants using excuses of coming into alignment with others in the same vertical sector, then what happens is one reduces still further & there becomes a  knock on effect whereby others follow suit & so forth.

But hey ho, in what seems to be an ever increasing apathetic industry on the whole, it gives more reason to look at hybrid commission structures or CPC models.

It would interesting to know though, on the whole have cookie periods generally gone up or down, because it’s not documented enough & often goes under the radar of grabbing an affiliate’s attention. Sometimes these cookie reductions can be perceived as simply a “shameful tactic in the clawback of commission” & squeezing the affiliate that little bit more.

Not a massive outburst, I am illustrating how affiliates are too often secondary in others thoughts and how affiliates generally don’t question cookie reductions or worse still session cookies … like when a merchant revamps their site, first thing out is affiliate tracking, last thing in is affiliate tracking … that’s if it is remebered.

Statement of the Day : We are not a good news bible.

“An Achilles’ heel is a fatal weakness in spite of overall strength, actually or potentially leading to downfall. While the mythological origin refers to a physical vulnerability, metaphorical references to other attributes or qualities that can lead to their downfall are common.” – Wikipedia

There are probably several common factors we could roll of the tongue which sometimes seem like an eternal ground hog day from a general lack of innovation, only a few decent api product feeds, problematic tracking, occasional payment problems, zero notification on policy changes causing friction, programs closing without due & proper notice.

… but one surpasses them all.

This is the affiliate marketing industry’s dependency on search engines whether it be Google, Yahoo or MSN. Quite obvious you may think, it doesn’t matter if you do PPC or SEO, it’s the common factor most rely on to a great extent, take that source away and the industry goes into freefall.

I often come across merchants who foolishly think they have some divine right to appear number one or organically for their own brand. Even affiliates maybe sometimes take this source of traffic for granted. But really though what divine right has anyone to appear well or at all in search engines. None what so ever !!! It’s the search engines which own them, not you, me, nor anyone else has any jurisdiction to what does & doesn’t appear on that & the sooner we all stop taking these things for granted the better & make the necessary contingency plans to at least off-set the potential impact of being shot in the Achilles Heel

Nobody has any Divine Right to list well in organic search engines, because quite simply none of us own the search engine.

So what are the solutions? What’s our fallback biatch apart from going for 5 stars working in MacDonald’s or stacking shelves in Tesco & thus losing our quality of life as scruffy bedroom affiliates.

I don’t know the full answer & perhaps we need to discuss this openly to safeguard our own futures, because there are some Goldmines search engines, like Google’s Embedded Site Search, haven’t exploited yet which could seriously put a dent in all our incomes but prolifically increase theirs more than any loss affiliates might incur. It’s simple stuff we have been doing to some mediocre success which I’ll elaborate on in my next blog. Though this turn-off the traffic tap may not be imminent, the safeguard solution / plan may need to adopted sooner rather than later.

One simple part of the solution, note not the whole solution, is to aggregate the knowledge of affiliates we know or trust to create our own search engine. Not to go head to head with the majors as that is just foolish, but gain incremental traffic by outflanking. It’s like a military operation, to defeat any nemesis / enemy you go for the supply line. As mentioned before this is partly why Google introduced automatic matching because the quality of other sites was getting better i.e. more sticky & users were returning to the search engines less & less.

Hence, if on all our existing sites we can incorporate a half decent search engine for web search utilizing free & paid for sources out there, or better still aggregate the plethora of affiliate skills out there to develop one selves, then the more of us that do this, then the less likelihood or need there is for visitors to return to the main search engines. A way of monetising this I will come into on another blog.

All very obvious … but we do need to think about it & actually develope something as the business model of “affiliate marketing” needs to secure it’s own future.

AWESOME .. EXHILARATING .. THRILLING .. LAVISH .. ADRENALIN FUELED RUSH .. are just a few words to describe what was an absolutely fantastic few days in Las Vegas, last weekend, courtesy of an incentive from Buyagift. I have to start of by saying Thank You .. Thank You .. Thank You to Graham (call sign “Puke”) & Dan (call sign “Whirly Sprinkler”). Even though I served in the Royal Air Force until 1992, having the opportunity to actually fly & take control of a Fighter Aircraft, has always been a dream since my childhood, by pushing the envelope of my normally modest comfort zones, pulling positive G’s of between 3 to 4.6 whilst Dog Fighting over the Nevada Desert in scorching heats of 108 degrees, was an experience I ’ll always remember with excitement. Even since returning last Tuesday & quite jet lagged, I am still buzzing.

Like those who were some of the lucky attendees / winners from last year to Las Vegas, we thought it couldn’t be beaten, but Buyagift surpassed those high levels of expectations once again.

The Outbound Journey : The Boneshaker : Morning : Friday 16th May

We all met at Gatwick Airport on Friday morning & departed on one of the traditional bone shakers which Virgin Atlantic Airways operate, because the flight wasn’t full, we managed to spread ourselves out over a few treble & quadruple seats enroute to recoup as much shut eye as possible to charge the batteries (I don’t do mornings) for the few days ahead. Landing was a little turbulent, imho synonymous with Virgin Atlantic & as for the pilot, I think any of us privileged affiliates possibly could have mastered a slightly smoother approach & landing with a High Yoyo (HYY) & a Low Yoyo (LYY) to throw into the mix.

Airport Transfer to hotel was in some kind of beefed up / pimped stretched Limo type bio fuel bus, called Earthbuses. With music pumping, leather seats, booze onboard, neon/disco lights & LCD TV. These Executive & VIP Limousine Buses are really comfortable with room for up to 25 passengers, which are ideal for large corporate events, airport transport, and nights on the town. The vehicles run on bio diesel and produce ultra-low emissions, their sales pitch is something along the lines of being committed to style & service whilst saving the earth. These little trimmings & indulgences Buyagift generously afford adds to the enjoyment and reduce our own carbon footprint (well sort of).

http://www.earthbuses.com/images/fordreserve.jpg

It’s the only way to travel in style for the short journey to our hotel, no other than the lavish Luxor Hotel and Casino on the famous ‘Strip’ in the heart of Las Vegas. For myself who is quite interested in Egyptology, this was quite a befitting theme for a superb weekend. A marvel of modern construction, the iconic pyramid of Luxor Hotel & Casino climbs 350 feet into the desert sky containing an enormous 29 million cubic feet of space and is crowned with the world’s brightest beam of light. Within the soaring walls of the great pyramid, more than 2,200 Deluxe Rooms overlook a spectacular and expansive atrium. An incredible thirteen 747 Jumbo Jets can fit inside the Luxor’s stunning Atrium

http://www.cnrc.navy.mil/sandiego/las_vegas1.jpg

Lap of Luxury : Sapphires Gentlemen’s Club : Evening : Friday 16th May

After a quick freshening up, it was a quiet, gentle & relaxed winding into the weekend at Sapphires Gentlemen’s Club. Apparently it’s the world’s largest gentlemen’s club, featuring some 70,000 square feet of topless entertainment and serving variety of cocktails, wines, champagnes and cigars. We were told there was apparently at least 100-150 topless laptop dancers there. We can neither confirm nor deny 😉 … plausible deniability … 😉 … I think we rolled in about 5am, but really nobody was keeping time.

http://www.sapphirelasvegas.com/grfx/header.jpg

Mexican Standoff at The Gun Store : Lunchtime : Saturday 17th May

A last minute addition to itinerary was a visit to the indoor shooting range at The Gun Store which is a full service gun shop specializing in self-defence security & police equipment with a massive arsenal of varied handgun & sub-machine guns available to shoot. It was MAD (Mutual Assured Destruction) with 10 of us plus instructors in a confined space firing an assortment of live firearms in quick succession, something I haven’t done for quite a few years, it was organised & well drilled chaos. But you can’t help thinking that it could be relatively easy for an accident to happen i.e. if someone didn’t keep there weapon pointed down tin can alley or some unbalanced individual decided to liberally spray bullets in all directions, though with the number of instructors there, they would have pounced on any culprit fairly quickly. I guess it’s little surreal for the uninitiated, but it was a certainly different & fun start to the day.

Apparently they turnover $50k a day with a high ROI, when you see the continuous queues & rapid turn around of gunslingers it’s not surprising the place is making an absolute mint.

http://www.blackdossier.net/users/m-a-images/The-Gun-Store-Las-Vegas-sign.jpg

Days of Thunder: Afternoon & Evening : Saturday 17th May

The Indy Car USA Track in Las Vegas is known as the ‘Diamond in the Desert’

Originally, I wasn’t really into driving sports or racing cars, until the baptism of fire from last years incentive with Buyagift when we were driving sports cars in the Nevada desert & I started watching the TV program BBC Top Gear, even now after doing relatively well in affiliate marketing over the years, my personal car is only a family Toyota Previa (which I am quite happy with), so I am not really into owning flash cars or yatchs. Indy Car racing proved to be a whole new world of driving enjoyment.

The sheer scale of the place shocks and puts most venues in the shade. It boasts not one but two road circuits, a dirt track, kart circuit and motocross facility as well as the main 1.5 mile oval speedway.

Obviously our focus was on the oval when we took the challenge of the Indy Car Experience where oval racing is a unique discipline and not for the faint of heart. The speeds achieved are extraordinary and the racing takes place just inches from the perimeter wall.

With the short briefing over and safety kit on, we took to the track. After the obligatory recce laps in a road car you get strapped into the racer. Fire-up the engine and, even within this vast complex, the sound is simply fantastic. Master the correct line and you will quickly be able to build your speed. With massive downforce, super sticky slicks and 12 degree banking you can expect some fairly serious g in the corners. The purpose built 650 bhp Indy cars can quite easily achieve fast-paced action of up to 200 mph on the Las Vegas Oval … Crikey.

I think most of us got to about 146 to 149 mph as we chased the lead car having to stay within only 4 to 6 car lengths if we wanted to go faster. Doing these speeds on a flat motorway would be quite easily achieved I guess (not that I have tried), but doing on a race track is a whole new thrill.

I only wished there was an onboard camera to record the event so that we could all relive our experience. It was again another very hot day, but by the time most of us got to ride, the sun had set over the back of the main stadium so that we wouldn’t swelter in our dashing racing suits & helmets as we completed about 6 laps of the circuit. Even though we had a brief initial tuition it was pretty much hands on as you played yourself in, realise your limitations, and then really savour the scintillating experience as you raced around the track, it was absolutely brilliant.

An almost ideal way to get the juices flowing for a night on the town in LV, for me the perfect day was to come.

Early Night

For the following day to keep the adrenalin pumping we were going to be flying ‘air combat dog fighting’ missions in a fully aerobatic Marchetti fighter aircraft high above the Nevada desert. We were going to be split into two groups. The earlier one meeting at 7am the following morning, yep, anyone who knows me knows that I burn the midnight oil (a natural body clock) and I don’t do mornings, so I was in the early bird group, thus I was tucked up in bed by about midnight after a light dinner with no intention of breakfast in the morning.

Top Gun : AIR COMBAT USA : Sunday 18th May : Some Unearthly Hour in The Morning

“I feel the need, the need for speed”. Even though I served in the Royal Air Force until 1992, having the opportunity to actually fly & take control of a Fighter Aircraft, has always been a childhood dream, by pushing the envelope of my normally modest comfort zones, pulling positive G’s of between 3 to 4.8 whilst Dog Fighting over the Nevada Desert in scorching heats of 108 degrees, was an experience I ‘ll always remember with excitement.

“Picture yourself strapped into your fighter aircraft, high above the Nevada, when suddenly out of the sun comes a bandit. Sweeping into a banked roll you come round on his tail, line him up in your gunsight and let him have it! A trail of smoke appears to signify your hit – victory is yours! This is Air Combat USA? – a unique chance to be a Fighter Pilot for the Day!.”

The Air Combat USA program allows civilians (either pilots or non-pilots) to experience the exciting adrenalin rush of the Dogfight in real military trainer prop aircraft all under the expert guidance of professional instructor pilots. My instructor was Jim “Bogey” Reed who received his BS from the USAF Academy in 1972. During his 30-year career in the Air Force, he flew a variety of aircraft including the F-4, OV-10, and F-15, amassing over 5,000 hours of tactical flying experience. Receiving the Distinguished Flying Cross as a squadron commander during Desert Storm, his unit was credited with 6 aircraft kills. Before coming to Air Combat USA, he was an air combat instructor in the T-34A with Sky Fighters.

On arrival we were kitted out with our own personal flight suit, we had the pre-mission ground school briefing on format of the course, safety and tactics, prior to the one hour of flying with formation flying, practice manoeuvres and six dogfights followed by a mission debrief and gun camera review. Oh, and incase of “Bail, Bail, Bail” we were told of when the canopy jetisons on how to climb onto the wing & fall low off the trailing edge below the rear stabliser & rudder.

Each “pilot” then picks his opponent from the group and throws down the gauntlet with the challenge of an aerial Dogfight!, full theatrics are of course encouraged, I “Moose” (call sign) challenged Graham “Puke” Keen who was going to “crash & burn”

The aircraft used for the mission was an Italian built Marchetti SF260’s specially modified for the purpose. Each aircraft is equipped with modern safety harnesses, rapid deployment parachutes and special equipment for the Dogfight including laser weapon systems fitted to underwing pods, gunsights and three video cameras which record all the action and “kills” on video tape. Originally designed to transition pilots to jet fighters, they have a stick grip and gun trigger identical to the F4 Phantom.

Upon boarding your aircraft you are given a final safety and cockpit briefing and without further ado you are strapped into the aircraft and the mission begins! Once airborne the instructor pilot gives you time to acclimatise with level flight and a series of gentle manoeuvres to assess your comfort levels.

This is very much hands-on so once in the air you do 90% of the flying! Working with your pilot you’ll used canny tactics and teamwork to out-manoeuvre your opponent and get him within your gun-sights. With the aircraft able to pull an incredible +6g and –3g you’ll need to focus hard on first sighting the enemy then pre-empt their every move before arming your weapons system and going for the kill.

You can’t run out of bullets so you can get totally trigger-happy if that pleased you. A direct hit will register with real to life sound effects and a dramatic trail of smoke trailing from the other aircraft (whioch looked great on the debrief & souvenir video. The whole thing is an intense and uniquely exhilarating experience!

During the course of your flight we learned a series of air combat manoeuvres including – High and low Yo-Yos, Lead, lag and pure pursuit – Gunsight tracking & Physiological effects of “G” Force … HOOK !!! … HOOK !!! … HOOK !!!

Unfortunately for Graham it was like shooting fish in a barrel as he was blown out of the sky, I get quite bad motion sickness, hence not having breakfast, by nauseous moment (white bag time) was on negative g’s, though there was no follow through by praying to Hugh, thus no loss of points nor any spillage.

Once back on terra firma we had the opportunity to study the video footage to see where it all went right or wrong. The video we got to keep! So once this is reformatted I’ll get it on the blog. When you run your opponents video footage with yours side by side on split screen it was exciting to watch. It is the ideal way to relive what for me was the experience & thrill of a lifetime. Being the first to go out, I hanged about for the rest of the day, seeing how the other guys got on & the joy of their reactions.

It was a great pulling positive & negative G’s all weekend, but the biggest G is G for Graham from Buya”G”ift & big boss Dan. Thank you both for a fantastic few days. Now I know what the “G” in Buyagift stands for. Not just “G”raham but also the G‘s from the experience we had.

The Nightclub Tour : Sunday 18th May : Evening

To wrap up the tour of Las Vegas, we enjoyed a tour of the nightclubs with limo transfers & VIP admission to some of the top clubs and all in one remarkable night. Our first stop was the Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino next door, with a glass elevator all the way up to the sixty something floor, with a fantastic view over Las Vegas.

Other clubs we went to were

Body English – Arguably, the new ‘daddy’ on the Las Vegas Club scene, Body English at the hard Rock evoked the image of a rock star’s English country mansion complete with leather Chesterfield sofas, acres of gilded mirrors and crystal chandeliers. Opulent and decadent – just what you would expect.

Tabu – Located at the MGM Grand, Tabu is a decent new ‘ultra-lounges’. It strikes a good balance between chill out lounge and happening club. Sumptuous décor, fashionable crowd and gorgeous waitresses combine to make a pleasant.

CatHouse – is an upscale ‘uber-lounge’ based on a French 19th century Bordello which manages to remain intimate and uniquely provocative. Two styles of music with two separate DJ’s juxtapose tastes in different areas within CatHouse. Dancing, not restricted to a dance floor, is encouraged throughout the ‘loungerie’, with lingerie clad performers enticing participation.

I think we strolled back to our hotel about 6am, after wisely leaving one of the other hotels before someone else got thrown in jail, I dunno, whatever ever happened to liberally sprinklings of enjoyment, whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas 😉 But that is another discussion saved for the bar & not on a public blog, boys will be boys!

No apologies for a long blog post, as this was something I personally wanted to document for posterity as a truly tremendous few days. I will populate this blog with a few photos a bit later.

Many thanks once again to Graham & Dan from Buyagift.