Are Tradedoubler “The Borg” in Disguise?
posted in Closed Groups, PPC Brand Name Bidding |
… “I am Hamlet of Borg! To be assimilated or not to be assimilated? That is the question.”
In a series of episodes dedicated to Tradedoubler, I am beginning to wonder if Tradedoubler (A Swedish Company) are in fact “The Borg” in disguise, assimilating the marketing ideas & prowess of the affiliate community into their little idealistic fantasy world (btw not a patch on World of Warcraft) of closed group brand name bidding rights thinly disguised (veiled) as tenders, in their pursuance of controlling the affiliate world with the same mind set which can only be likened to Google’s (who’s objective is maybe to have the Google logo printed on the US $ dollar Bill)
Quite a few affiliates have now received several of these ridiculously lengthy, so called “equal” opportunity tenders to peruse from Tradedoubler, containing open ended questions to complete & submit on return. These tenders are requesting information like projections, & what should be closely guarded secrets, your marketing techniques & tools. All for the for the so called privilege of a selected few (perhaps already pre-selected) to enjoy closed group brand name bidding rights for some merchants. Basically, they ask for almost everything (senstive information) from knowing your marketing secrets to what colour / ply toilet paper you prefer, well not actually toliet paper, but you get the drift, thus they may as well include this ….
Sell your soul why not, as the network assimilates all those aggregated ideas into their own Borg Realm of Control (not the hippy Swedish tennis player version but the Star Trek variety, though i do wonder if they are actually Born (Bjorn) Borg, though if you want to be pedantic you cannot actually be born Borg (If you are a Trekky Fan, then you’ll know this)
The idea of being given brand rights via Tradedoubler is certainly luring to the gullible, with the enticement of brand, when any experienced PPC’er (Pay Per Click Advertiser) knows that the value of the generic term is more valuable than the brand name itself. Therefore perhaps it should be considered at what cost this comes?
“Closed Groups” is another full discussion within itself, the Advantages & Disadvantages of which will be discussed on a later blog date.
Tradedoubler say they are “very eager to receive your proposal” thinly veiled in allegory “on how your company can compliment and propel” the merchants “business forward in to 2007.” Off course they are eager, they are possibly rubbing their hands with glee at every greedy unsuspecting mug who returns the tender application. Don’t you just love their colloquial spin? They are certainly on a different planet.
So, hyperthetically speaking, here you go Tradedoubler, here’s everything I have learned over the years for you to glean, I know I won’t get included because you’ve got your own little clique cartel including the Andover crew (not my reference to them), including Jesus, Oh sacrilege! … I hear some proclaim .. with their clone army of brown nosed yes men. And … when your done digesting all that invaluable information of ours, we sweated years & tears with. You’ll only either pass those golden nuggets of harnessed information on to the chosen few or keep it selfishly to yourself by charging your client something like a £300 an hour consultancy fee, claiming they are wholly your own innovative ideas & proprietary software in achieving maximum ROI (Return On Investment) & brand awareness.
“Poppycock! Excuse Me! Borg Master!” … Whilst I am at it, please could you rashly insert toilet brush up my backside & I ‘ll give a little wiggle for you at the same time . … Oh hang on a minute let me get a mirror .. hmmm .. Yep, just as I thought the sun does shine out of there.
To be fair, Tradedoubler do offer the tender to a number of affiliates, including ourselves, whether it is a level playing field or not, I am sceptical, to trust them with the information required to be divulged, I do not.
Unfortunately, I duped myself into thinking last year that Tradedoubler had turned a corner / new leaf & that a leopard could change it’s spots with an openness & improvement in their affiliate support. In my honest opinion (imho) it’s been nothing short of diabolically, by their own opinion, based on their actions we have expereinced, they are deemed never wrong.
“You will Comply” … Arrogant, Aloof Control Freaks … “Resistance is Futile”
Their corporate persona of aloofness & wonderfully contrived vocabulary of colloquisms and the creative sycophantical use of superfluous superlatives (say “superfluous superlatives” 5 times really quickly) simply disguises the bull. Tradedoubler’s, lip service just doesn’t wash anymore with us. Something we’ll just have to accept & focus our attentions with more accomodating open minded networks.
It’s easy to ascertain why merchants are attracted on to the Tradedoubler network, they truly do present the “bells and whistles” platform with a practical & functional affiliate / merchant user interface, maybe not the best in the industry, but still extremely impressive to say the least. Merchants & agencies are wooed by this (which other networks should consider) as you’ll observe by the big named brands they represent, which has a catalytic effect of it’s own to bring even more big named brands onboard.
However, beneath the veneer & the facade, when you get down to the nuts of bolts of it, .. “No Bells & Whistles, Just Nuts & Bolts” it’s woolly & the service from our experience has been poor. This has been mutually expressed by both other affiliates & merchants without prompting.
As a final suggestion, perhaps it should be the merchant pitching to the affiliate, now that’s a little twist? Since it’s the affiliates who have the marketing skills & the advertising spend, as it currently stands … it’s sooooo the wrong way around.
Conclusion: Remember, just be careful when passing information & ideas onto Tradedoubler with regard to the tender and ask yourself do you trust them, don’t simply sell your soul to The Borg and allow your ideas to be assimilated, because of a few Ker-ching! benefits.
Borg Humour:
… “I am Ohm of Borg! Resistance is the Disease, Not the Cure”
… “I am DOS of Borg! Prepare… oops, out of memory!”
… “I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be assim… OOH! DONUTS!
